We see your ocean with its disgusting seaweed and terrifying deep-sea creatures and raise you the ultimate water getaway — the Lake of the Ozarks. Yeah, that’s right. We said it. Forget the ocean because the Lake of the Ozarks is the best place to be this summer. Allow us to explain:
Sure, you can have a beach party, but it won’t be anything like a Lake of the Ozarks party. We’ve got two words for you: Party. Cove. It’s like the Vegas strip, only wetter and better.
2. Easy Access
Hungry for a burger? Ready for a beer… or 10? At the lake, you can get to all of the best bars and restaurants in no time.
How does this sound for a Saturday? You can spend a whole afternoon lounging in a cove hooked up with a billion other boats around. Best of all? It’s the norm. You can relax and float for hours on end without worrying about drifting to the middle of the Pacific.
4. Better With Friends
What sounds more likely to you? Running into a friend at a random beach somewhere hundreds of miles away on the coast, or running into a friend at the lake that’s only a short drive away? We’re going out on a limb and saying the latter.
5. No Seagulls
Seagulls aren’t friendly. They’re not cute. They’re just obnoxious. They’ll steal your sunglasses, your SPF or even your cheese sandwich. We never got to finish that sandwich and now we never will. Thanks, seagull.
6. No Expensive Flights
Instead of standing in the airport security line for three hours, how about hoppin’ in the caravan with a bunch of friends and arriving at the lake in the same amount of time? We like the sound of that. Plus, when it comes time to take off your shoes, you’ll feel the warm sand – not the gross airport floor.
7. No Sharks
At the lake, you can ride a jet ski or jump off the boat without fear of a shark going all “Jaws” on you. Maybe it’s just us, but we find the water to be more enjoyable when all of our limbs are attached.
8. Less Rules
No dogs? No Frisbees? No loud music? Might as well just have a giant sign that says “NO FUN ALLOWED, PLEASE STAY AWAY FROM PRETTY AREA.” At the Lake of the Ozarks, you can bring all that, and so much more. Just don’t bring the thunder.
Lakes were made for screaming from all the fun you have while tubing. Oceans were made for screaming from all the gross salt water spraying in your eyes.
10. Better Real Estate
If you want 24/7 access to the water, buying a house at the lake is much more affordable than a beach house. Plus, Brad Pitt’s parents have a house nearby. Maybe you’ll catch Brad and Angie chilling lakeside, and you’ll all become best friends. You won’t, but maybe.