Not only do the Chiefs play their home opener on a Thursday night, they get to do it against the arch rival Denver Broncos. Arrowhead Stadium will be electric, providing the perfect backdrop for our boys to destroy those dismal donkeys.
In honor of the impending beat down, here are 11 reasons why we love to hate the Broncos:
1. John Elway
Elway was always one of our favorite players to hate, and the tradition continues now that he’s Denver’s general manager. The Hall of Famer has been with the Broncos so long that he’s literally become one.
2. Peyton Manning
There’s nothing more fun than hatin’ on Peyton. The dude’s like 112 but still somehow manages to get the best of us. We’ve got a feeling this is the year the Old Man(ning) finally goes down.
3. Their team name
Nothing strikes the fear of an opponent like a bunch of sad donkeys. They might as well change their official name to the “Fightin’ Orange Eeyores.”
4. Their unis
Caution: These uniforms may cause headaches, dizziness, high blood pressure, mood swings and bleeding of the eyes. Orange may be the new black, but these traffic-sign threads are just plain wack.
The Broncos are responsible for bringing the insufferable Tim Tebow circus to the NFL. Despite his putrid play, Denver still managed to win a playoff game with him — something we haven’t done in over 20 years. That just plain Te-blows.
6. Shannon Sharpe
The former Broncos tight end had big muscles and an even bigger mouth. Only problem? No one could understand what the heck he was saying. CBS eventually put this horse out to pasture when they replaced him with the greatest tight end of all time — TONY GONZALEZ.
7. Their throwbacks
Not sure which was the bigger fashion crime here — the vertically striped socks or the Grey Poupon color scheme. The entire organization should’ve been banned for life after wearing these.
8. The rivalry
This heated rivalry dates back 55 years, so detesting Denver is in our DNA. And unlike our rivalry with the dumpster-fire Raiders, this one is actually competitive. We lead the all-time series 56-54, and that margin should increase after we unleash our inner Ronda Rousey on Thursday night.
9. The traitor
In the early 90s, no man was cooler in KC than Neil Smith. He made wearing a nose strip hip, and everyone loved watching him celebrate a sack with his famous home run swing. But in 1997 he did the unthinkable by jetting KC for Denver, where he immediately won two straight Super Bowls. Knife, meet back.
10. Their stadium
They call it “Mile High” stadium, which nowadays describes the Denver patrons more than the elevation. And unlike Broncos fans, we use our lungs for screaming, which is why we’ve got the loudest fans in the NFL.
11. Their Super Busts
The Broncos have gone to the Super Bowl seven times, and they’ve been blown out in all but two of them. Don’t get us wrong, we love watching them lose. But as division rivals, they could at least make us look good by keeping some of the games competitive. Losing by THIRTY FIVE to Seattle? That’s just horse crud.