At this point, you’ve probably already been inundated with dozens of blogs and posts yammering on about all the awesome 2015 trends you have to look forward to. What will be the next kale? Will the Royal Family finally cease to fascinate the American peasants? And what about that Apple iWatch? Is it really worth the iWait?
But trends are just that — trends. Temporary fascination with a shiny new “thing” that doesn’t seem to take too long for us to get bored with and move on. From technology to fashion to food, we’ve put together a list of 2015 trends that we’re already so tired of, we can’t even.
Drones, Drones, Blah, Blah, Blah
Remember when everyone said Google Glass will become more mainstream in 2014? Well, no. And we feel like the same will be true about drones. Sure, you’ll see more flying around in the next year, but complete takeover probably won’t happen until at least 2017 — if ever. What we think will happen? People will have their drones smashed to bits for invasion of privacy so many times, they’ll have to revert back to good old fashion windows and telescopes to get their creep on.
Another “Groundbreaking” Social Media Site
We’re sure the explosion of social media won’t end with the “highly-innovative” (read: super scandalous) Snapchat. Ello, Ocho and probably a half dozen more sites that don’t end in “o” are just waiting to sprout up like poisonous mushrooms in a rotting floor. We’re already having a hard enough time updating our Instagram that we share on Facebook and tweet out before pinning on our Pinterest boards, so we’re not sure where we’re supposed to have the time for anything else. Maybe Facebook will one day become the next MySpace, but we’ve got a hunch that Facebook is here to stay.
Have you seen all these adult beverages putting pepper into their drinks? It’s cool to make things hot, and this trend is probably only going to get bigger in 2015. Don’t get us wrong, we love a spicy Bloody Mary just as much as the next Sunday bruncher, but soon you won’t be able to eat anything — even FroYo — without a ground-up pepper or a liberal squirt of Sriracha in there. But spiciness gives indigestion, and there’s not enough Tums in the world to help with a scorched esophagus.
What happened to the good ol’ fast-food chains? You won’t be able to find a single one in 2015 — you’ll only find “casual dining.” Just ask McDonalds, who spent bazillions of dollars fixing up their restaurants to make it feel more like being in an Ikea. And Pizza Hut is now offering more “sophisticated fair” such as Old-Fashioned Meatbrawl and Cock-a-Doodle Bacon. Here’s some friendly advice: stick to the greasy pepperoni and bubbling hot stuffed crust, K? We’re trying to have a heart attack over here!
The Modern Workout
Why slave away in the gym for hours or risk pulling every ligament you have during a single Crossfit workout when you can just HIIT it in a matter of minutes. That’s High Intensity Interval Training — and it’s coming to a trainer near you. These shortcut workouts are supposedly the next big thing, but we’re guessing most people will just HIIT it and quit it.
Knock-Knock, It’s the 80’s and 90’s
Get ready for “grown-up” grunge — and patterned spandex. Two styles will dominate 2015, and both of them should’ve stayed in the decade they ruined. Now it’ll be acceptable to wear your multi-colored, leopard print spandex gym clothes everywhere, even if you don’t work out. When you’re tired of the tight-fit clothing you can always go loose and baggy, as long as the outfit has lots of feathers and patterns that don’t mesh. If only Joan Rivers were here to
verbally destroy see this…
Big, bold eyebrows are going to be a thing, all thanks to Taylor Swift. Yes, that’s T-Swift. It was only a few years ago that Pam Anderson made thin eyebrows a thing, but now thicker is better. And while we’re not totally opposed to this trend, we’re not overly excited at the thought of a Frida Kahlo revival.
Gotta say, though, that thick eyebrows are better than dyed armpit hair, which some corners of the internet are trying to make A Thing. We’ll just leave this here:
This is a Color?
Marsala will be the color to dominate the year, thanks to Pantone. Maybe it’s just us, but we think Marsala goes way better with chicken. We don’t necessarily think this color is ugly, it’s just that we spent the past year living our lives in Instagram Sepia, and we’re a little over it.