Some boring people will tell you it’s a good idea to start building credit as early as possible, in case you ever want to buy a car or a house. Here are five things to think about as you roll your eyes and walk away.
1. Ignorance is bliss
Sure, you could spend your hard-earned free time learning what makes up your credit score. But really now …
● FICO? What’s that, some kind of disease?
● Keeping your total debt below 30% of your available credit means doing math.
● Payment history? That’s not living in the moment, bro.
● Who cares? Did you know there are literally tacos made out of Doritos?
2. If you wanted to read, you’d be on Twitter right now
Have you ever even seen a credit report? Do you know how long those things can be? It’s like that time in high school when your English teacher assigned “Moby Dick,” and you were like, “Uhh, I have a life, but you feel free.”
But if you want to see whether your accounts are in good standing, check how many lenders or whatever have been looking at your report or find out if someone pretending to be you just took out a credit card halfway around the world — well, it’s your life to waste.
3. “Plastic?” That doesn’t sound organic OR free-range
If you’re really set on adding more waste to this beautiful planet just so you can carry around a little piece of plastic, you probably can. Even a slacker when it comes to building credit could think about getting a secured credit card: just get approved, put up a little bit of cash as a security deposit, and you’re good to go. Of course, there would be some paperwork involved, and meantime those Netflix marathons aren’t going to start themselves.
You could also ask around to see if anybody will make you an authorized user on their card or cosign on a new card with you. You should probably try this on a crowded subway, where there are plenty of people with credit cards.
4. Rules are for sheeple
“Pay your utility bills on time.” “Pay your credit card bills in full each month.” “Don’t eat too many tacos made out of Doritos.” LOL okay whatever u say, Mom.
5. If patience is a virtue, why is there a new iPhone every year?
You’ve got a credit card now! You can have what you want, when you want. Isn’t that what they’re for? Buying things with money you don’t have?
Or you could spend nine months or a year just spending responsibly and being bored out of your mind. Sure, your credit score might climb, and you might end up with your own unsecured credit card or being able to get an apartment, or retiring at some point. But ask yourself: Is that honestly worth passing up those shoes right there in that store window?
Devan Goldstein, NerdWallet
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[Editor’s note/shameless plug: This is most definitely satire and you should most definitely pay attention to your credit score. Mazuma is happy to help you out with that! We offer a full line of financial education, financial planning and wealth management services to our Members to help you be aware of exactly how much money you have or don’t have and where it all goes every month so that you can be on top of it all and get yourself to the financial place you want to be.]