An Open Letter to Last Night’s Storms

Dear Thunderstorms from Monday Night,

All of us in Kansas City understand that you’re part of our existence here. Like California has earthquakes and the Gulf Coast has hurricanes and Boston has Nor’Easters, KC has thunderstorms. Enormous thunderstorms. That occasionally drop a tornado.

So we get it. And you know what? There are a lot of us here who really, really love storms. People who chase them, check the radar constantly, or even find that they’re totally okay when their favorite show gets interrupted for shaky camera footage from the helicopter sent by the local news to check out what’s happening.

Mostly, we think you’re great. Except for days like yesterday, when you did this right as rush hour kicked off:

Photo credit: @MrSpenzer via twitter

Photo credit: @MrSpenzer via twitter

That’s a tornado. In Liberty. During rush hour.

Seriously? Rush hour? Because people in Liberty need to deal with a tornado while they’re trying to navigate 291 on their way home? 291 is already a nightmare. No one needs the possibility of a tornado dropping on their heads when they’re just trying to get home after a long day.

Or what about this?

eudora

That’s Eudora after you dropped a tornado on it at 5:15. Which, aside from the damage you caused in Eudora, meant that everyone stuck in the construction nightmare that is the JoCoGateway was stuck in traffic knowing a tornado was headed their direction, listening to the eerie wails of siren after tornado siren and the creepy computerized voice on the radio warning of impending doom, wondering if they’d make it home before getting smacked by a rain-wrapped tornado. And anyone still stuck at work? Yeah, they weren’t working. They were stuck in a basement or bathroom or back room waiting for the all-clear.

Normally, you’d be content to drop a tornado in one unlucky community and leave the rest of us to some hail and straight line winds. But no – yesterday, you got greedy. By 5:45, almost the entire KC Metro Area was under a tornado warning as this thing blew through:

from news

That color on the right? HOW IS THAT PRODUCED IN NATURE THAT IS SINISTER.

olathe

photo credit: @KaleenaSRealtor via twitter

Even the news had to take cover. The news.

news hiding

And you took away our baseball game to boot. This was the view from Kauffman as the fans and the teams took cover:

kauffman

It was a Monday, storm. A Monday. Mondays are bad enough without awful terrifying commutes home, a smattering of power outages, more flooding, and no Royals game. The only silver lining is that we got this awesome instagram video of rain streaming down the steps at the K from All-Star Royals Player Salvy Perez:

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

A post shared by Salvador Perez (@salvadorp13) on

So, you know, thanks for that anyway. As for the rest of it, if you could kindly hold off tornadoes until weekends (when we have time to chase them), or at least until after 7 on a weekday (so that we can at least get some dinner before going outside to watch heading for cover), we’d appreciate it.

Sincerely,

Kansas City

 

 

Kim Funari

Author: Kim Funari

Kim Funari is the editor for MazumafyKC and contributes the occasional article as well. She’s also the Brand and Social Specialist for Mazuma, where she runs the Facebook page and @MazumaCU on Twitter. Her extracurricular writing revolves around beer, wine, and life in Kansas City. Kim has an MA in English from Lehigh University.

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