An Open Letter to Michael Bay on Behalf of Kansas City

Dear Michael Bay,

We like you. We like your films. They have style, swagger, and explosions.

So many explosions.

michael bay explosions

Of course, by the end of the film, some major American city has been reduced to rubble. That’s part of the fun. But it’s always New York, LA, DC, San Francisco, Chicago. We’re pretty sure we’ve seen the Golden Gate Bridge blow up over 9,000 times by now. And let’s not even get into the beating that the Empire State Building has taken over the years. It’s getting old. Stale, even.

So we’re asking you to do something different. We’re asking you to blow up Kansas City.

Kansas City is perfect for cinematic destruction. Check this out:

We have beautiful buildings.


A beautiful skyline that’s begging to be utterly demolished. Look at all that sky: it would be beautiful filled with a fiery conflagration:


Speaking of skies, our weather is so crazy it could be a plot device:

[please note: not a photoshop job. That’s a real photo of a thing that actually happened.]

And a baseball team so hot they could bat the baddies back to whatever universe they came from:

So what do you think? Come rain down your particular brand of cinematic excess on our fair citizenry. We’re ready when you are.


Kim Funari

Author: Kim Funari

Kim Funari is the editor for MazumafyKC and contributes the occasional article as well. She’s also the Brand and Social Specialist for Mazuma, where she runs the Facebook page and @MazumaCU on Twitter. Her extracurricular writing revolves around beer, wine, and life in Kansas City. Kim has an MA in English from Lehigh University.

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1 Comment

  1. I gave up on the guilt shortly after E was born because I realized how much I needed the night out. Every Wednesday my friend and I hang out – dinner, movie, shopping, whatever. And it is GREAT! The hubs has some free time every day before E and I get home and on the weekends I take her grocery shopping so he has free time. If something comes up and we can’t hang out, I still go shopping or do something to have me time. It is a sanity check and helps us keep in contact. I hope you find something for yourself!

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