Dear Michael Bay,
We like you. We like your films. They have style, swagger, and explosions.
So many explosions.
Of course, by the end of the film, some major American city has been reduced to rubble. That’s part of the fun. But it’s always New York, LA, DC, San Francisco, Chicago. We’re pretty sure we’ve seen the Golden Gate Bridge blow up over 9,000 times by now. And let’s not even get into the beating that the Empire State Building has taken over the years. It’s getting old. Stale, even.
So we’re asking you to do something different. We’re asking you to blow up Kansas City.
Kansas City is perfect for cinematic destruction. Check this out:
We have beautiful buildings.
A beautiful skyline that’s begging to be utterly demolished. Look at all that sky: it would be beautiful filled with a fiery conflagration:
Speaking of skies, our weather is so crazy it could be a plot device:
[please note: not a photoshop job. That’s a real photo of a thing that actually happened.]
And a baseball team so hot they could bat the baddies back to whatever universe they came from:
So what do you think? Come rain down your particular brand of cinematic excess on our fair citizenry. We’re ready when you are.