Ask Mike: Breakfast in Bed

Dear Mike,

I’m planning on making breakfast in bed for my fiancée this weekend. Do you have any recommendations for what I should cook?

– Over Easy in OP


Dear Easy,

They say breakfast is the most important meal of the day, which is why I make sure to eat it as soon as I wake up in the late afternoon. And the best part is that every day is breakfast in bed day when you don’t have a job… or responsibilities… or any social life to speak of.

So what should you make for your damsel in a dress (I think that’s the saying)? I’d go with the classics:

  1. Pizza: and not the hot, fresh stuff, either. Cold leftover pizza is the elixir of the gods in the morning. She’ll know you care if you’re willing to share.
  2. Cereal: Nothing says “I love you” like a giant bowl of Lucky Charms. Show your lady how much you care by separating out the marshmallows from the disgusting healthy stuff. Bonus points for speaking in a vague Irish accent that also makes you sound slightly intoxicated.
  3. Bacon and Eggs: Boring and traditional, so don’t do that. Try something exotic, like eggs, bacon, and Spam.Or eggs, bacon, sausage and Spam. Maybe Spam, eggs, sausage, and Spam? You can never have too much meat (or meat-like substances) on a plate, and your fiancée will appreciate that you’re helping her get enough protein to face the day.
  4. Orange Juice: With extra pulp, of course. I mean, why drink something smooth when you can play Russian roulette with your life every time you take a sip? Down a couple glasses without puking, and your fiancée will know she picked a winner!

All this taking about breakfast has made me starving. I’ve gotta go tell mom to make something for me… Hope this helped!




Author: mazuma

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  1. If your mom is running a bed and breakfast, then check-out time is usually around eleven. You may, and probably do, check back in around four. You’re a lucky guy!

    Post a Reply
    • mazuma

      Having a 5-hour period every day when he’s not allowed in would totally explain Mike’s busy afternoon sidewalk-sitting schedule.

      Post a Reply

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