My friend and I were arguing about which is better – coffee or energy drinks. I love coffee and he guzzles down the Monster. Settle this for us: Which one’s the best?
— Caffeinated in KC
I’m not sure why your friend is drinking monsters, but he should probably stop. I can’t imagine how much hair he gets in his teeth from that. I mean, what does he do – puree them? That’s just cray.
As for myself, I feel like I’ve had some issues with both.
Let me start by telling you something you might not know: energy drinks LIE to you. Red Bull says it’ll give you wings, but I still can’t fly. After drinking one I wanted to soar so badly that I ripped off my clothes and ran around my front yard screaming, “I believe!” You won’t be a ‘Rockstar’ either, even if you drink one and karaoke ‘Welcome to the Jungle’ 52 times at your high school reunion. No one appreciates real skillz these days!
Now as much as I like coffee, I feel like it’s so violent. I don’t want to be whipped, shot, put upside down, pumped or any of it. I wouldn’t call myself a pacifist but this is just going too far.
I also heard that coffee has amino acid in it, which is probably why it’s so crazy! I always hear about crazy things happening while people are on acid.
With all that said, my mom makes the BEST Blue Mountain Nilgiri tea. I’m not a snob or anything, but the dark burgundy loose leaves and beautifully rounded body provide the perfect summer berry tease to your palate any time of year.