Ask Mike: Coffee or Energy Drinks?

Dear Mike,

My friend and I were arguing about which is better – coffee or energy drinks. I love coffee and he guzzles down the Monster. Settle this for us: Which one’s the best?

— Caffeinated in KC


Dear Caffeinated,

I’m not sure why your friend is drinking monsters, but he should probably stop. I can’t imagine how much hair he gets in his teeth from that. I mean, what does he do – puree them? That’s just cray.

As for myself, I feel like I’ve had some issues with both.

Let me start by telling you something you might not know: energy drinks LIE to you. Red Bull says it’ll give you wings, but I still can’t fly. After drinking one I wanted to soar so badly that I ripped off my clothes and ran around my front yard screaming, “I believe!” You won’t be a ‘Rockstar’ either, even if you drink one and karaoke ‘Welcome to the Jungle’ 52 times at your high school reunion. No one appreciates real skillz these days!

Ask Mike Karoke

Singing “Welcome to the Jungle” while hopped up on Rockstar did not lead to fun or games.

Now as much as I like coffee, I feel like it’s so violent. I don’t want to be whipped, shot, put upside down, pumped or any of it. I wouldn’t call myself a pacifist but this is just going too far.

I also heard that coffee has amino acid in it, which is probably why it’s so crazy! I always hear about crazy things happening while people are on acid.

With all that said, my mom makes the BEST Blue Mountain Nilgiri tea. I’m not a snob or anything, but the dark burgundy loose leaves and beautifully rounded body provide the perfect summer berry tease to your palate any time of year.


Author: mazuma

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  1. Energy drinks aren’t advised to be drank frequently. I still prefer coffee more than any beverages. Aside from how much I enjoy its taste, it even has more benefits so I’m always for coffee.

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  2. Good to hear support for coffee. Must say espresso ,the one i like to have mostly , is best for metabolism. Energy drinks can be good when one is feeling dehydrated anyways i am with coffee.

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  3. I still prefer coffee too! Not only I find it way more tastier than energy drinks but I think it’s healthier than energy drinks.

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  4. People says that never mix energy drink and alcohol. In Montenegro peoples usually drink Loza (grape brandy) with coffee. Is that the same like you drink energy drink with alcohol?

    I prefer coffee a lot black coffee every day 🙂

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