My son recently told me that you were his new role model. He’s been grounded ever since. But that got me wondering, do you have any role models that have helped make you so … you?
– Wondering in Wyandotte
I’ve gotta say, I’m so flattered that your little man thinks so highly of me! I mean, people always told me I’d eventually carry some weight, but I thought they were referring to my extra belly jelly.
Who are my role models? Great question! I actually have several influencers who helped shape me into the esteemed humanitarian I am today:
Jimmy Buffett: I actually have no idea who he is, but his last name looks like ‘buffet’ and that sounds delicious.
Zoolander: Perhaps the one person smarter than I.
Paris Hilton: Taught me that if I work hard at doing nothing, I too can be rich and famous one day.
Walt Whitman: Favorite character on Breaking Bad.
Peter Pan: Never grow up? CHECK
Mario: Proved that all you need to conquer the world is a few turtle shells and some special mushrooms.
Steve Jobs: The man invented the apple. THE APPLE.
Kevin Bacon: See: Jimmy Buffett
Dorothy: Taught me that there’s no place like home. And that I can’t pull off ruby slippers and pigtails.
Madonna: She doesn’t have a last name either, and look how that turned out!
[ed. note: if you saw Mike’s first vlog, then you know he’s right about not being able to pull off pigtails. Seriously. Also, please remember that the Ask Mike is for entertainment and that it’s generally a bad idea to take any advice from someone who looks up to video game characters.]