Ask Mike: Saving For a House

Hey Mike,

I’ve recently been thinking about buying a house and need to try to get the money together for a deposit. Ideally, I’d like to save for a home while earning more money. What’s the best way to make the most interest on money short-term? -Homeless in Hospital Hill

I get questions like this all the time. People will always give the standard, traditional financial advice here: Money Markets, Certificates of Deposits, things like that. But you want fast results now, right? I mean, if you wanted to see a steady upward trend on your money with zero risk, you’d just do one of those things. So I’ll let you in on something, a little connection I have: I frequently receive emails from a Nigerian Prince who’s looking for investors in his top-secret, instant millionaire venture. His business is so safe that every time I open one of his emails my computer shuts down for a week. Unfortunately all of my personal finances are already tied up in the burgeoning online cat video industry, but if I was liquid right now that’s what I would do.

[ed. note: Do not, under any circumstances, try this at home, take this advice seriously, or contact a Nigerian Prince for investment advice. EVER. We post the Ask Mike series because we enjoy making fun of him, not because he has good ideas.]

mazuma

Author: mazuma

Mazuma is a Kansas City credit union that’s dedicated to banking happy. We’ve got free online banking, low auto and mortgage rates, and of course — you-choose checking. Ready to become a Member?

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15 Comments

  1. I just may be one of the original members of Mazuma and just want to say “I Like Mike!”

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    • Yes, I have questions for Mike. Ever considered a career change? Ever considered moving out of your mother’s basement? Does she hide her car keys? Laptop? Food? How old are you?

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      • mazuma

        Kyle,
        Here’s Mike’s full bio, or at least as much as he was willing to tell us: https://www.mazuma.org/about/mike.php
        Since he can’t ever find his own car keys, finding his mom’s keys is definitely way too much to ask.

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    • mazuma

      Yay! We like him too! He’s like the maple syrup to our bacon. …or something like that.

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  2. Mike, I’m in the same boat as you. I’m trying to save and buy a car. Do I get a better rate if I buy a new one?

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    • mazuma

      Hi George,
      The only advice we at Mazuma are willing to let Mike give you on cars is in this Ask Mike post: http://mazumafykc.com/ask-mike-what-car-to-buy/
      If you’d like real car loan advice from someone who knows what they’re talking about, call us at 816-361-4194, and we’ll put you in touch with someone who can give you legitimate answers.
      Thanks!

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      • So, where is Mike actually? Hope he is not actually vacationing in Nigeria. I heard it’s not really good this time of year. Neither is North Korea. I hope you guys at least tell him what’s happening even if he doesn’t get it. You are now responsible for his safety as your spokesperson. He could be pulling a Rodman and telling all of Mazuma’s highly secretive operations. You may have to undo the brainwashing upon his return. It should only take a minute or two.

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        • mazuma

          Kyle, the thing with Mike is that he’s only our “sorta-spokesperson.” We’re using him in a sort of “as always, should you or any of your IM force be caught or killed, Mazuma will disavow any knowledge of your actions.” He thinks it’s awesome that we’re making Mission Impossible references, but we’re not actually kidding. If he gets into trouble in North Korea or Nigeria or Singapore or somewhere doing something shady, we’re going to pretend we’ve never heard of him. Ever.

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  3. For a “sort -spokesperson”, Mike seems to hang at your office a lot. When you guys say “See ya later”, does he just show up?

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    • mazuma

      He does do that, actually. We wonder if the reason he ignores us there and so frequently missses the point of things is because he’s playing a neverending game of “Opposite Day.” It would explain a lot.

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  4. Would be funny to see Mike actually do some banking while he’s there, like say apply for a car loan cuz his mom won’t let him have hers. Your finance person could sit and explain all the great rates and how he could’ve done it online instead of just keep coming in to see ya all the time. Then, of course he gets all excited when the loan officer tells him that he”ll call him later today. (Excited she’s calling but nothing to do with the loan). Oh, and be sure to have his Mom pick him up.

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    • mazuma

      Having his mom pick him up at the end is a brilliant touch. We love that you’ve thought about this so much – keep it coming!

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      • It’s simply because I have a son just like Mike. Yes, love him dearly, but c’mon! Maybe you should open part of your office as one of those safe places to drop your kid off in the drive-thru. He said the only reason I am a mother is because I gave birth to him. So, happy Mother’s Day to me!

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  5. Hey, We also have a boy like Mike! The kids at school used to call him Mamby. It meant he was a Momma’s boy. It didn’t bother him at all. So, as he got older, I changed it to Manby, which is 1/2 man and 1/2 boy. I love each half equally! Happy Mother’s Day to all you Manby moms! (Including Mike’s)

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  6. Before anyone mocks or knocks on the helmet suggestion, it is a good idea. My son wore a gigantic red helmet with a “M” on it. He kinda looked like a big M&M. Most people just liked to high five him or even blow kisses as he went by on his scooter. Mike should be so lucky! He should consider a helmet if he’s gonna be out there. People will want to throw stuff at him.

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