My roommate and I decided to host a Super Bowl bash this year, but I’m tired of the same old parties. Do you have any tips for making this year the best one ever?
— Super Pumped in Prairie Village
Dear Super Pumped,
If you really are super pumped, then you’re already better off than a Brady football! HAHA #win.
Adult entertainment is a specialty of mine. I really know how to make a party fun, whether it’s showing off my pantomime skills or creaming everyone in charades. And let’s be honest, watching a whole football game can be boring, so it’s important to have other options to keep your friends entertained. Below are five tips for making your Super Bowl festivities the baddest on the block.
Deflate the Football
This is just like pin the tail on the donkey, only now it’s culturally relevant! Just hang up a piece of cardboard (for the fails) and tape a football in the middle of it. Use whatever blindfold you want, except your mom’s sleep mask. She’ll get mad if you lose it, apparently. Next, find some colorful tacks for pinning, so you know whose is whose; I’m always lucky pewter! I save money on prizes by giving away things I find around the house, like a spare toothbrush or my dad’s hairpiece. Feel free to go wild!
Veggie Eating Contest
Trying to stay healthy during the Super Bowl is really tough, so I’ve come up with an eating contest that forces you to eat your vegetables! Grab any one of the dozen veggie trays that your lazy friends brought over and select an equal portion for each person. Every time a player makes a first down, you have to down a veggie. Whether or not you allow ranch is up to you, but I’ve found that the possibility of all those veggies coming back up increases A LOT when you let them dip.
I don’t know if you remember, but some of last year’s Super Bowl commercials seemed to have one common theme: you had no clue what product or brand it was trying to sell you. At the beginning of them you’d be all like, “Woah, this is a cool car commercial,” and by the end you’d be all like, “TurboTax? Really?” So make it a game, and see who can name the brand the fastest. If Mazuma had a Super Bowl commercial, I’d definitely win that!
Take a Drink Whenever…
Everyone eats and drinks a lot at Super Bowl parties, so my mom came up with a way to make sure my friends can actually leave the house when the game is over. Instead of using adult drinks, she has everyone drink water every time a specific word is said by the sportscasters. Last year it was stats or statistics. We all felt pretty hydrated by the end of the game, but that bathroom line took forever!
Try to come up with the best hashtag for something that’s happening during the game. I gotta hunch this year is going to center around the word “balls.”