If you live in Kansas City and not under a rock, you’ve no doubt heard of Boulevard’s Chocolate Ale. You know, that beautiful product of collaboration between hometown heroes Boulevard Brewing Company and chocolatier Christopher Elbow. It’s worthy of bucket lists everywhere — and it can prove extremely difficult to actually get your hands on with its magical ability to disappear before it even makes it off the delivery truck.
Well, we’re here to rectify that crime against life with a step-by-step tutorial on how you can get a taste of the rich, chocolatey goodness.
How to Get Boulevard Chocolate Ale
1) Call your favorite liquor store of choice and find out when it’s getting delivered. Pro tip: don’t just find out the day. Find out what TIME of day they expect the delivery truck. You’re welcome.
2) Show up when the truck does. This one gets a little tricky, ’cause lots of deliveries are during the day when responsible people are supposed to be working.
3) That said, remember how you have a “doctor’s appointment” to “get that thing checked out”? Or you could do the honest thing and wait until you go on your lunch break. Whatevs.
4) Scope out the truck, and as soon as that delivery man steps a foot outside it, sprint into the store. Now the clerk is the only person standing between you and your fountain of heaven, so be nice. Let them know you’d like to buy some Chocolate Ale, please, and ask them where you can park it without being in the way. NOTE: The drivers work with dollies loaded up with 10+ cases of beer, which are heavy and awkward. Rushing them will NOT work. Kill ’em with kindness and stay out of the way.
5) As the beer man comes in, don’t have a cow. Just relax and be cool.
7) If the store is already sold out — OK, let’s be honest WHEN that store is already sold out (along with every other store, possibly within an hour or two of delivery) — call around to a few bars. They’ll start getting their kegs Monday night and should have some for at least a week. A few places will stash a keg until Valentine’s Day, so that’s always an option as well.
If you don’t take any of this advice, take this: please don’t be the person who follows a delivery truck from store to store to get 12 or 15 bottles of beer to sell on eBay later. Let’s share the love — it’s almost Valentine’s day, after all.
Even more importantly: enjoy your beer responsibly, and don’t drive afterwards. It’s not only wrong, it’s actually illegal.
If after all of this you still missed out on Chocolate Ale (or had it and don’t really like it), check back on Thursday. We’ll have something awesome for you.