[ed. note: We were initially going to call this post “Confessions of a Self-Hating Taco Bell Addict,” but once our intrepid Mazumafy-er went out and tried the new Taco Bell Sriracha Menu, we had to rethink it. You’ll see why as you read.]
Kansas City, get thee to a Taco Bell.
Taco Bell recently launched a new Kansas City-only line of Sriracha-infused menu items in what appears to be a (highly successful) attempt to move our relationship to the next level. Gone are the days of using some sub sandwich restaurant as a healthy cover and ashamedly going stag through the T-Bell drive-thru. Friends, today I profess my undying love.
Taco Bell, you had me at Sriracha Taco.
I’m a firm believer in the concept of trying everything. So on a sixty-five degree Sunday night in October, I ordered one of everything on the Sriracha menu. What happened next was pure magic nothing short of Hogwarts.
Sriracha Nachos Supreme
Apart from dropping the ball and not calling these “Srirachos,” they nailed it with these nachos. Beef marinated in Sriracha, with cheese, sour cream, beans and a salt-infused pile of tortilla chips. They’re offered as a side dish, as if the FDA demanded something this good only be allowed in moderated proportions. I’m assuming they were scientifically proven to cause uncontrollable bouts of sheer bliss.
How could they have failed to call them Srirachos? Seriously.
Sriracha Beef Griller
It may be small, but it makes up for it in bold flavors that must have been reserved for royalty before now. The Sriracha flavor is definitely the hero here. It rocks so hard it’s probably not a bad idea to be buckled up for the first bite, because we all know you’re eating this in your car. Warm tortilla, Sriracha beef, cheese and crispy tortilla strips to add a crunch. And the heaven-sent Sriracha crema? Somewhere Uncle Jesse is yelling ‘Have Mercy!’
C’mon, you KNOW Taco Bell is going fancy when they’re busting out foodie words like “crema.”
This is when I started planning my own show about a committed relationship with fast food items. The show would be a gold mine for TLC, or maybe the Food Network? The ball is in their court. Listen, guys, this is a burrito, wrapped in a quesadilla, and then turned up Emeril-style with the addition of that glorious Sriracha crema. Major points for this one.
Sriracha Taco Supreme
You’ll never order a regular taco again. Ever. You can thank the Sriracha crema. If there was a hierarchy of tacos, Taco Bell just took the belt, like, Mayweather fashion. I see this evolving into a Doritos Sriracha taco, and I will cry real tears of joy (and pain, as my body recovers from the damage).
KC is having a truly awesome moment with the Royals. Getting the gift of exclusivity to the Sriracha menu is gravy (rooster sauce-laced gravy, which is way better). It will probably be the peak of your love life.
If nothing else, it makes up for the horrifying breakfast.