Movies with Mike: Transformers Review

4/5 ninja stars ****

I know what you’re thinking. “Mike, your new video blog is so amazing, you must be a movie expert. What do you think of the new Transformers movie?”

Well, let me tell you, I most definitely am an expert. In fact, some people think I was the real-life inspiration for that bearded guy in the Hangover. Psshh, I wish I was that smart.

TRANSFORMERS: AGE OF EXTINCTION

I knew I couldn’t disappoint my loyal fan base, so I went ahead and saw Transformers this morning instead of going to that job interview my mom set up (she just doesn’t get that starting something like a homemade candle business takes time. It’s only been 12 years!). You’d be amazed at how many people actually showed up for a 10 a.m. movie. And a lot of them came with friends. Ha! How weird is that?

Anyway, the film opens up with Mark Wahlberg (disappointing — it should’ve been Nicholas Cage or whoever played Shrek) pretending to be an inventor of stupid stuff that already exists. A robot dog? Um, what do you think Furbys are?

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Marky Mark eventually finds Octopus Prime in an old movie theater and fixes him up. [Sidebar: Why is his name Octopus? He doesn’t even have tentacles!] Then the “CIA” shows up and almost kills ’em all. Luckily, Octopus saves the humans who helped him.

It turns out that the CIA’s mission is to destroy all the Transformers and Autobots, which leads to about an hour and a half of explosions. It was like watching fireworks on the Fourth of July, only this time I didn’t get third degree burns.

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When the explosions finally stop, we see Octopus riding a dinosaur. A DINOSAUR! Sorry for yelling, but I didn’t realize this was going to be a Jurassic Park sequel. Talk about a two-for-one!

After that there’s more explosions, a few car chases and a bunch of scary-sounding Transformers that’ll haunt my dreams forever. And some explosions.

Overall, I give this movie 4/5 ninja stars. It’s definitely the best documentary of the season.

mazuma

Author: mazuma

Mazuma is a Kansas City credit union that’s dedicated to banking happy. We’ve got free online banking, low auto and mortgage rates, and of course — you-choose checking. Ready to become a Member?

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15 Comments

  1. Hey Mike, I’m not a senior transformers analyst by trade. I believe the reason he is known as “Octopus Prime” is due to his eight sided brain.

    His legal name according to the Intergalactic Census Bureau’s records is Space Truck.

    Hope this helped!

    Post a Reply
    • mazuma

      Really, though, if you got stuck with a name like “Space Truck,” but could convince people to call you “Octopus Prime” instead, wouldn’t you? Like being born Gordon Sumner but successfully getting people to call you Sting.

      Mike’s just trying to help a poor giant transformative robot creature out.

      Post a Reply
      • It’s pronounced “GOR DON!”

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  2. Well that didn’t go as planned.

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    • I know, it became so complicated… Wirtschaft = industry, but can also implicate economic growthVernunft = common sense, but “mit Vernunft” would here rather translate as “with reason” or “within limits”So my slogan for CDU would read “Freedom within limits” – I’d be thankful for a better translation though.

      Post a Reply
    • i prefer hot coffee. I live in Minnesota, so the weather usually calls for it anyway. When it does get hot outside, i’ll drink an iced cup, but rarely, i’ll usually jsut go for a soda pop then

      Post a Reply
    • All these doctors are getting kickbacks on their kickbacks with Suboxone! It’s bullshit really. Suboxone made me depressed as fuck and gave me headaches from hell and on top of all that, I was broke from the suboxone, It’s WAY more expensive than Subutex because Subutex went generic a few years ago, Subutex is way better.

      Post a Reply
    • 26/04/2012 at 9:50 pmHello!…An interesting discussion is worth comment. I think that you should write more on this topic, it might not be a taboo subject but generally people are not enough to speak on such topics. To the next. Cheers… Log in to Reply

      Post a Reply
    • Henry, no mere mortal can resist their powers. I’m 50 myself and was captured 2 years ago in Mandaue City. Being a prisoner is not all that bad. You already know the ground rules. Don’t pick too soon and don’t pick a girl you can live with. Pick the girl you can’t live without. Superman, the island is loaded with kryptonite. We’re betting 30-45 days til you’re in love again. Either way, be happy…..VERY HAPPY. Life is good in Cebu.

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  3. Um… Furby’s aren’t dogs. Loser.

    Post a Reply
  4. Dude, this is for FUN! Yeah, all caps.

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  5. @Terry bawahahaha…you are absolutely right, it’s pronounced GOR-DON! #HILARIOUS

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