Have a New Year’s Resolution to head to the gym and get into shape? So does everyone else, especially after the holidays and all associated junk food. So if you’re looking to drop some pounds and headed to the gym, you ought to know what you’re getting into. No exercise advice here (we’re a credit union blog – this is definitely not the place to go for any exercise advice) – we’re just here to tell you how exercise resolutions play out every year:
January 1st: There isn’t a huge bump in gym traffic on this day, despite everyone’s best intentions. Reason: hangovers.
January 2nd: EVERYONE GOES TO THE GYM. Everyone. It’s like Gympocalypse. Regular gym rats will sometimes skip the first week of the year or take to going to the gym at really weird hours to try to avoid the rush of Resolution-keepers (Rezzies for short, because that’s what gym employees have been known to call them), because there’s no equipment available. It’s all in use, and there’s probably a line for it.
Don’t even think about asking for a towel, because those are all in use too. Just bring your own.
Realistically, there won’t even be parking.
You should probably just stay home and do some sit ups or something.
January 3rd: Anyone who isn’t too sore to get out of bed from the January 2nd workout (or who was stuck at work and unable to go until now) is at the gym, armed with smoothie recipes and Pinterest tips to lose that belly fat, or maybe with some sort of idea that grunting is the key to a good workout. The gym is still overpacked and sans parking spots.
You will overhear at least three conversations between different people comparing FitBit stats and health-related phone apps. A few of those people will spend more time talking about their fitness apps than doing anything that might actually require tracking by those apps.
By January 5th, at least one idiot will come in bragging about a self-inflicted injury from working out too hard and proceed to aggravate the injury by working out more in order to prove some misguided idea of toughness.
Please don’t be that idiot. It’s painful to watch.
January 14th: roughly 3/4 of the Rezzie crowd has already hung up their gym shoes and returned to whatever it was before they decided they should be going to the gym. It becomes easier to find an open treadmill, but the ellipticals still have lines.
January 30th-31st: There’s one final burst of people as anyone clinging to their resolution or doing some sort of New Years-inspired 30-day cleanse realizes that the month is ending and they should really get back into the gym again.
February 1st: Still here? Most Rezzies aren’t. It’s almost easy to find room to put your mat in yoga again.
February 14th: If you’ve made it to the gym regularly all the way from January 1st to February 14th, congrats! You’ve probably made it a habit. February 14th seems to be the day that any lingering Rezzies have given up utterly on their New Year’s Resolution in the face of being able to justify a pound of chocolate for dinner because Valentine’s Day.
That said, if you’ve managed to make it to the gym frequently for six weeks, you’ve totally earned that pound of chocolate. So eat it.
And then go to the gym. But not immediately, because you’d get a really nasty stomach ache.