You’re the greatest sport in the world. But perhaps you’ve taken too many big hits, because you’re clearly not thinking straight.
Kansas City deserves the Super Bowl. But despite all our city has done for you, you still won’t let us host the biggest party on the planet.
As the Black Eyed Peas would say, “Where is the love?”
We’ve certainly held up our end. In 2007, we spent millions of our taxpayers’ dollars to upgrade our stadium. And last year we gave up a home game — A HOME GAME. IN THE LOUDEST STADIUM IN THE SOLAR SYSTEM. — so that you could prance our team around like show ponies in front of an apathetic bunch of blokes across the pond.
A Super Bowl in KC makes total sense. The fabric of the game is intertwined with this city. The Chiefs played in the inaugural event, and our founder, Lamar Hunt, is the man responsible for giving the Super Bowl its name. It’s well known that one of Hunt’s wishes before he passed away was for Kansas City to host the Big Game. If for no other reason, do it for him.
And don’t give us the whole, “We’d really like to, but your city is too cold” argument.
Hogwash. On two points.
First, this isn’t ballet, it’s FOOTBALL — a sport meant to be played in the harshest of elements. Second, you didn’t seem too concerned about bad weather when you let New York host the Super Bowl two years ago, did you?
Speaking of frigid cities no one wants to visit in the dead of winter, let us remind you that you’ve already let Detroit and Indianapolis — two dream vacation destinations if we’ve ever seen them — host the Big Game. And good ol’ balmy MINNEAPOLIS is scheduled to host it in 2018 — presumably inside a giant igloo with no one but Elsa and Olaf watching.
A few more reasons why it’s time to warm up to the idea of the SB in KC:
- We’re an amazing city, and we’ve got proof to back it up; the Huffington Post recently named us the coolest (as in most awesome, not coldest) city in America.
- After back-to-back World Series, we’re more than capable of hosting a championship event. Did you happen to see our Royals parade? 800,000 fans showed up and not one incident. Your cute little gathering would be a breeze.
- We guarantee the best tailgate in Super Bowl history. Regardless of how the game goes, our world-famous barbecue is guaranteed to send fans home a winner.
Do the right thing, NFL, and give us the Super Bowl.
It’ll be your biggest hit yet.