The new OP Scheels: the store your family could live in

Step inside of Scheels, and you’ll quickly realize it’s not just another Overland Park shop.

As OP Mayor Carl Gerlach declared, it’s “The Disneyland of sporting goods stores.”

Indeed, this behemoth of a building makes ordinary sports stores seem tiny.

It’s no stretch of the imagination to think that if a family got trapped inside this 222,000-square-foot location, it would manage to comfortably survive for over a week. Here’s how:

 

Nourishment

Tucked in the back of Scheels is Ginna’s cafe, a gourmet restaurant that serves soups,  salads and sandwiches, as well as gelato and over 24 — TWENTY FOUR!! — flavors of homemade fudge. If locked inside the store, the challenge won’t be feeding your kids, but trying to convince them to eat anything other than the chocolate goodness.

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Not even a Keebler Elf could deny fudge on a shelf.

 

Slumber

“Honey, this is a sporting goods store, there’s no way it has — LEATHER COUCHES?! Holy, ****! Honey, they have LEATHER COUCHES!”

Finding viable sleeping options here is a cinch. The second floor contains a Home Decor section that makes Crate & Barrel look like Kmart. Want a more rugged stay? Choose from a bevy of tents and sleeping bags that are so comfy you’ll feel like you’re vacationing at the Four Seasons.

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We found out the hard way that this isn’t a “public napping station.”

 

Entertainment

Getting stuck in an isolated location with your family could lead you to deliriously scribble “REDRUM” all over the walls, but not here. Here, there’s simply not enough time to go crazy.

As soon as you walk in, you’re greeted by a man SCUBA diving inside a gigantic aquarium, which doubles as an entry way to Narnia. Just past that, there’s a 65-foot Ferris wheel chilling in the naturally-lit atrium.

There’s also mini bowling, Lego land, virtual soccer, an indoor playground and trampoline basketball. Not to mention stuff for the kids.

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Nothing unusual going on here.

 

Protection

If you’re going to be abandoned for a week, you best be sure you’re well protected from the elements. Even if you’re “technically” indoors, the place is crawling with wild animals (they’re taxidermied, but still).

Regardless, this place is loaded with enough guns to house an NRA pep rally. There’s also a case full of deadly samurai swords, because we all know that ninjas are everywhere.

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Not to be rude, but these guys seem like a bunch of stiffs.

 

Shopping

This activity alone could take up your entire week. There’s something for everyone at Scheels, whether you’re a sports fan, a luxury man or a well-dressed woman.

If you like sports, there’s gear for (deep breath): the Royals, Sporting KC, the Chiefs, KU, MU, K-State, NFL, NBA, MLB and even Wichita State (talk about a Shocker).

Looking for hunting gear? There’s enough camo in this joint to start a Duck Dynasty spinoff.

They also sell high-end wallets, purses, sunglasses, watches, jewelry, shoes and women’s clothing.

Don’t be surprised when this place’s success ends up putting Nordstrom, Macy’s and Von Maur on this list.

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What the folks at Duck Dynasty refer to as “business casual.”

 

Education

Wanna impress all your friends when you finally get rescued? Be sure to spend some QT with our favorite forefathers. Yup, there’s animated versions of Thomas Jefferson and Abe Lincoln inside of Scheels because WHY WOULDN’T A SPORTS STORE HAVE THESE?? If you listen closely, you can hear Honest Abe whispering, “I freed people for this?!”

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“Really, guys. Really?”

 

So really, you should go. If only to experience the animatronic Abe Lincoln. If you’ve gone already, tell us what else you thought was awesome, or let us know which tent you’ll be camping out in. No need to share when they’ve got so many!

mazuma

Author: mazuma

Mazuma is a Kansas City credit union that’s dedicated to banking happy. We’ve got free online banking, low auto and mortgage rates, and of course — you-choose checking. Ready to become a Member?

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