Kansas City has made national news recently for amazing things like THE ROYALS and how it’s great to live here if you’re a Millennial and how even BuzzFeed has gotten all jealous of us. While we know all of these to be true, we also noticed another thing that’s true: unless you were lucky enough to meet someone new at a giant Royals watch party, the dating scene here sucks.
Despite its overall awesomeness, KC has repeatedly ranked as one of the the worst cities to be single. So we decided to go straight to the source and ask Millennials living in our great city why it’s so tough to find love here.
To get our answers, we posed questions to a group of four 20-somethings to get their take on how they view being single. Let us tell ya, they were really eager to tell the world about their dating problems. So eager, in fact, that they made us change their names to protect them from embarrassment.
Here’s what they had to say.
Mazumafy: Do you think it’s tough to date in KC? What makes it so hard?
Sean: I do think it’s hard to date in Kansas City. There is a weird shadow over the entire concept…most of our social interaction is done on weekend evenings, which doesn’t lend itself to exploring many options.
Ashley: Dating is weird. For a girl, the concept is scary…Too many negative possibilities.
Mary: Yes…The toughest part is meeting new people, especially if you don’t live near the downtown area.
Erik: I don’t know if I would say it’s more difficult than other cities. I do think it’s much more difficult than it was in college.
THE TAKEAWAY: The dating scene is scary and you only reserve a tiny amount of time to schedule dates. But really, who’s going out for a hot date on a Tuesday if you have to be at work bright and early on Wednesday?
Mazumafy: How about social media and internet dating? Have apps like Tinder changed the scene? How much have you dived into the online match-making?
S: Social media has become a follow-up device. Meet someone new, find them on Facebook, creep, and hope you see them out again. Who wants to admit that they met their girlfriend/boyfriend by swiping right?
A: I think social media makes things even more weird. [When] someone talks to me in person and gets my number, I actually give them permission to do it, ya know? I have a Tinder account, but I swipe to see what swipes I get back and that’s the end of it.
M: I wouldn’t go out of my way to try and approach someone through social media. I think match.com is great in bigger cities just because there are more people, [but] a lot of people on match.com in KC I already know from the community.
E: Social media and online dating probably help. You don’t have to go through that awkward step of ‘does she like me’ or ‘is she into me’. You already know because she swiped you.
THE TAKEAWAY: From “meh” to “meh … maybe,” people aren’t totally set on the whole online dating thing. Maybe there’s still hope in catching someone’s eye across the bar you go to every Friday night? Then again, if you’ve already seen everyone in that bar 50 times and you already know you’re not interested, then you’re probably not going to be interested when you trip over them on Tinder, either.
Mazumafy: Looking at it, do you think dating struggles are a KC thing or a generational thing?
S: I think, personally, it’s our generation’s culture.
A: Definitely a generational thing.
M: Young adults are more focused on their career and being successful.
E: Clearly I’m not that good at [dating] at this point so I’m not really sure.
S: Dating is a foreign concept to most [in our generation].
A: I have too many friends that are creeped out by a random guy introducing himself at a bar somewhere. I can’t lie though, I agree with them.
E: Approaching someone at a bar [means] you have to say the right [stuff] or else they are going to think you’re a creep.
THE TAKEAWAY: Maybe it’s not actually Kansas City. Maybe it’s that dating sucks, period.
Mazumafy: Does your family care that you’re still single?
S: The jokes suck.
A: Not yet but it would probably be a concern if I was, like, 30 with no boyfriend.
M: Yes…everyone and their mother is getting married lately. It doesn’t help when your mom is a teacher and lives to be a grandma.
E: My parents have been really cool about letting me do my own thing.
THE TAKEAWAY: It’s your family’s fault somehow.
What does this mean for singles in Kansas City? It means that it probably isn’t much worse here than it is anywhere else, except that there aren’t as many people in Kansas City to reject (or be rejected by) as there are in New York City. So maybe, instead of stressing out about being alone forever, it’s time to turn singledom into something cool: lots of time to do whatever you want, with no one to nag you if you don’t put away your laundry or clean off that plate of Pizza Rolls right away.
If that sounds horrible, then it’s probably time to reach out a little more. Swipe right, everyone.